Healing is a process that everyone will experience at some point in their life. It will be different for everyone as we all process death or loss differently. However, I am discovering that when you lose a spouse – there’s a different type of pain involved.
I was blessed to have been able to marry my friend. We met when I was 19 years old and after nearly 27 years apart, life brought us back together. We thought we had a second chance at love; a chance to spend our lives together. We planned for the future but, there was a looming cloud lingering over our newly found happiness—cancer.
My husband had been diagnosed with stage 4 colon cancer three months prior to us reconnecting. Therefore, we were determined to live life to the fullest; without any apologies. So, with our faith in hand, our friendship, and our love, we forged ahead. Time was not something we thought about too often—we mostly thought about just living each day on purpose.
The most challenging part is I have leftover love…I mean, I don’t have any place to put the love I have for him.
I knew that I would be ok because my faith in God was solid. However, after nearly three years together and almost two years married, my husband and friend passed away. I am still learning how to live without him.
I didn’t realize that the simplest things such as his voice would be sorely missed. I had no idea that I would have to accept being alone, whether I wanted to or not. I had no say so in the matter.
I am now forced to move ahead on my own. The most challenging part is I have leftover love…I mean, I don’t have any place to put the love I have for him. I don’t get to share it with him anymore. So, in theory, I am left just holding onto it.
The loss of a spouse is like nothing I have ever experienced before because there was no chance at a “goodbye and I will see you tomorrow” moment as he passed away in his sleep. We said goodnight and never spoke again. There was no resolve to how our love would continue as if it could without him.
I am now focused on healing and discovering what God wants me to do with my life as I eagerly await His blessings. I am thankful that in all of this, God is not only my strength, but He is my peace.
Therefore, as I spend time healing from the loss of my husband, I too am excited for the next season of my life. After losing a spouse, some people resolve to honor that love by remaining single while others choose to remain open to love elsewhere.
For me, I am honoring my husband by continuing to live while being open to love—a love ordained for me by God. I will always love my husband, Michael Anthony Meggett, as he was special, and I trust that he is smiling upon me as I bravely move ahead on this journey called life.
Here are 3 ways I’ve discovered God’s peace in my time of healing:
1. Spending time alone – while this season has forced me to be by myself, I have learned to enjoy the time alone. It’s in these moments I can spend time with God. I can also examine where I am emotionally and do the necessary actions that are best for me such as crying, praying, or listening to music. I don’t feel the need to rush myself through this process and that brings me great comfort and peace.
2. Traveling – I absolutely love traveling! I still gather opportunities for such a simple pleasure. It doesn’t have to be something grand. I enjoy road trips where I can fill up my car with gas, turn on some music, and set my cruise control. I promised my husband that I would keep living and living is what I plan on doing – to the fullest.
3. Appreciating my loved ones – I cherish each day a little bit more now. I try to honor those in my life that I love by letting them know how much they mean to me. I try to reach out to them more and this keeps me from isolating myself. I know how quickly things can change; how it can end. Therefore, even in my healing, I look for ways to put my love in action.
The Take-Away: I never want to experience the type of pain I had to endure during this season of my life, yet I am so much stronger in my faith. God has been my rock and shield, literally being there for me in the darkest moments of my life. I know without any doubt that God loves me, and He has taught me how to love myself. Life isn’t about being happy all the time or not enduring pain, but it’s more so about living through each moment with peace.
Helping You Live a More Purposeful Life
• Tell me some ways you have experienced the peace of God during a difficult time or loss.